Visiting the Mecca

Annnnnnd I did it. Too. Finally. Last year. Something I had wanted to do for a decade. Finally I had the money & the time. These pictures below attempt to showcase the essence of my trip.IMG_9467

Set foot in London on May 3rd 2012 and still had no ticket to the game 🙂


Roamed around. Frantically calling friends and checking twitter TL for tickets. Did it all of 3rd & 4th. And finally saw what a ‘ticket’ looks like on May 4th. Thanks to Tom Ansell. A gooner & a friend and @arsenal_tickets on twitter for the 2 tickets.

IMAG0233 IMAG0239

Match day! Still dark & gloomy outside. We feared for rain and I was already freezing in London being from the subcontinent. Wore 4 layers. Obviously the Jersey as the top layer 🙂IMG_9529

Which other club in the world has a train station to its name?





Apparently the hold up was because someone on a wheelchair could not be assisted, and security were making sure that’s attended to before the fans come marching in. You can see the restlessness in their eyes & shoulders.




Finally Inside. I did not click a lot of pictures, I was overwhelmed by the sights & sounds in the Stadium. Good thing that my gf (ex) was seated in another stand, so I saved myself the embarrassment of a wet eyes on display.



There is just no joy like singing with so many fans together.




Sang in the second half in another stand. Was told of an empty seat, went and sat with my gf finally. She had her fingers crossed for a good result too.


And they sang.IMG_9626

And they sang.


And they scored.


How typical eh?


C’mon Arsenal C’mon Arsenal C’mon Arsenal C’mon Arsenal ! We needed all 3 points and it was looking not so easy at all. Everyone was a bit restless.




Why is he standing there? He is Wojeich. Who knows.



I knew then that this is his final wave to the fans. It was pretty obvious.


You can imagine how the rest of my day looked after the 3-3 result. Face says it all 🙂



You can’t have enough of it can you? So I went back for a screening! Final day of the season.


Ok yes! I was there for the first time of course I’d go to Armoury and pick up random stuff.IMG_1122

There was still time for the screening to begin so I decided to take a stroll to a pub.


And along the way you see the influence on the neighbourhood.



I was told to have a beer and get out! Haha that was the deal.





No that fugly bag & bottle is not mine.





Inside Emirates again.IMG_1264  










Yepp. That’s it!
And am gonna do it again next year.

Why didn’t I go last year? I think you know 🙂

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Ideas for summer


The madness of this season comes to a close this weekend. Barring the CL final and who gives two bobs about it huh? pffft! Just a reason to drink or bet, or stay out late with friends. And then what do you do?

How will you stay 3 months without any football. (Don’t write Emirates Cup in the comments to avoid arsekicking by 100+ gooners. Simultaneously) How will you cope with empty time. What will you do with yourself (stop that thought right there!) and how will you save your family from the wrath of your abundant availability? As a good friend I cooked up a few ways you could survive the wait.

Try Bungee Jumping & other adventure sports


This will help you kill time and if you’re not really cut-out for it then the death defying thrills will train you well to handle the last 10 mins of games when Arsenal defend a 1 goal lead next season.


Also if you try Sky diving you will find yourself perpetually in arms raised position for long durations of time as you float through the air. This will train you well to keep your arms raised and support through the 90 minutes. Keep arms raised and yell “what the fuck was that ____(insert name) ” . Doesn’t quite work, does it? Yeah. Exactly.

Visit Egypt


Well tourism doesn’t hurt anyone. You travel, you learn, you grow. Also you spend, shop and keep cleaning your hands (at least some of you do) It will kill a lot of time just planning and then holidaying, and then when you arrive and stand in front of the sphinx you’ll realise that it’s not bigger than the Eiffel tower or Titanic but in fact just 6 meters tall. Now that reality check could be a sizeable shock as your kid tries to jump and touch it’s nose, but will also set the tone right and lower your expectations from our summer purchases this season. It looks like 70mn from a distance, its not!

Visit India

Visit India

Of course the super bonus here is meeting me (not mentioned in lonely planet) But also India is a vast country and travelling through its length and breadth will make you more tolerant to noise. E.g. In the taxi you’ll hear the cow, the honking, older engines, hawkers, eunuchs clapping hands and begging for money, sirens, and on top of it all the taxi driver explaining to his wife how he expects to get a fatter tip from you and then spend it on good liquor fish for the family in any of the languages spoken here. As you totter through the pot-holes, you’d be shaken out of your comfort zone and will reach a point where you’ll be immune to this noise and you’d find yourself saying – Alright you know what I don’t give a shit, I’m just gonna read a book with my ipod on. And that is fantastic training to survive all the shit rumors which will fly through your TL all summer and after.

As simply practiced in India (shown in pic) it means see no rumor, hear no rumor, tweet no humor. (now you’re thinking how does hands on mouth mean not tweeting – so my dear Einstein have you seen anyone typing while having their hands occupied? ) Now before you cook up a Bale joke …  let me tell you I have a few up my sleeve, but not telling now. No. NO!

A diploma in Microbiology


Find a quick one and finish it off, or may be just download it all and do long distance correspondence etc and Voila! you’d be qualified to test blood, tissue, hair, urine and stool. And this is really really important. Specially the last bit. Look… you got to know your shit. Specially if you plan to talk Arsenal on twitter. Alternatively just read up all of Swiss Ramble , Arseblog and Dave Seager’s TL + blogs. But I suggest the microbiology course really.

Try this

Oh c’monnnn you all do it on twitter daily. Gatecrash into a random conversation. Call a stranger idiot. Pick up arguments and get into people’s faces. This video might encourage you to do more of that, or showcase some of the consequences. But do what you want, its twitter after all. Let’s make it more fun though next year. (Talking like I’m Pope pffft!)

Learn Photography

learn photography

Learning any discipline requires discipline (<wow look at that, genius, pure genius, take a moment). And you can’t learn a discipline without being disciplined about the discipline. But let’s not discipline ourselves about that discipline right now, for this is not a school.

Tell you what, if you learn about Photography you can master at least half the shit people say on Twitter and most of the shit Arsene says. e.g. some words that Arsene has stolen from Photography world.
a. Support (meaning a tripod)
b. Sharpness in the final 3rd (pfft!)
c. I did not see it (meaning my eyes are not a telephoto lens)
d. I don’t remember (my memory card is full)
e. Team (some people)
f. Shoot (hmmm)
g. Scoring (good shoot, client paid advance and sent some stuff)
h. League Table (there are many more tables you can use in photography)
i. Objective (Model, or sometimes just the food on the plate)
j. I could keep going on…but let me finally wrap it up by informing all that the correct word is Faded and not Jaded!

Work at a Bar

Work at a Bar

Not only is it a fantastic way of earning money. But also a great way of making friends. You converse, serve, earn, and perhaps sample some good stuff. Over the course of time you could become a bit of a  connoisseur yourself and could tell a peated malt from a Spey-side one or tell your lagers from ales. You can then watch people enjoy the stories you tell them as they consume more and more. You can thank me later for earning through this fun job, or just for learning that you don’t care about the Cup you drink from as long as what you pour is intoxicating and addictive.

Watch Porn

Watch P
My bet is if you’re heavily on twitter and also reading this you’re probably not getting any. (My therapist told me to stop projecting, yet I continue… sorry)
Yeah yeah I know, I didn’t have to tell you this one, and you were probably doing that on the alternate tab on your browser. But now when you hear your door being flung open followed by “Sammy! What kinda project homework is that!!?” … you don’t have to look at the ceiling or think of an excuse for the sock in your hand… you can just say “this wise guy (that’d be me) told me to research this topic to learn more about fine art and correlate with other art forms like football.” That will convince her. Or will at least temporarily stun her for the time that you can find the other sock and pretend to go and play.

So yeah watch porn. It’s like a training to watch Arsenal. “Yes Yes Yes!” and scoring, it’s all the same in the silky smooth world we crave. 1-2… give and go.. I mean it’s all there. And I want you to think of Arsenal when you’re watching porn. Thoughts become prayers soon and you know what the power of prayer can do. Get used to the happy-endings and the in-game prayers next year will work so much better. Watch whatever you please MILF (managers *cough), Fetish, Torres on Torres action or whatever. There is only one variety i would request you to avoid. Doggy style. I know its popular and easy and you can rest your beer easily, but we don’t really want to come from behind all the time.

Visit Old Age Homes

Understand PHW. End of Para.

Ok I shouldn’t have made that joke, because now I can’t think of anything funny. Also forgot all the Diaby, Gervinho, Deadwood jokes I thought of.  Let me go and wash down this terrible taste in my mouth with some fresh brew.

“Thank you for your interest.”

*dashes to throw up.

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Clubs rhyme.


Mary had a little lamb.
Glory Glory.
W20 the fuck cares what you think.
– United

Mary had a little lamb.
Now we need a camel, horse, pig, monkey, snake, donkey, elephant.
– City

Mary had a little lamb.
Lets get a camel, horse, pig, donkey and can we get Martha instead of Mary?
– Chelsea

Mary had a little lamb.
Which clearly means we don’t need another little lamb, or a pigeon. Little lamb will grow, and will have experience.
– Arsenal

Mary had a little lamb.
We don’t know Mary, we’ve never met her. Heard about her, sure. We tried to peek over the wall. We think it’s a rumour.
– Spuds

Mary had a little lamb.
Don’t talk about Mary, you’re not entitled to.  We have known Mary for the longest time. She will come back to us.  Close the door when you leave.
– Liverpool

Mary had a little lamb.
She probably sold it.

Mary had a little lamb.
Actually she had 3. But we killed 2, and ate them.
-Stoke City

Mary had a little lamb.
Je ne sais pas, je suis originaire de France
(No Idea. We are from france.)

Mary had a little lamb.
Who the fuck cares?


-tell me what you thought, send in your suggestions too.

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Social media is a wonderful thing in many ways. How it allows you to expand your vocabulary without your dad or daughter noticing it. Or how you could come across as a passionate fan aggressive egomaniac. Light on valid arguments and rather viscous with swear words. Its unfathomably cool to sprinkle F* & C* bombs once in a while just to declare you’ve not gone too soft, and the fire is still burning. You could be a young boy from Nigeria or a lady from Britain or a grown up man from India; SM allows you a sanction to be sparingly vile with words, without being branded an aggressive or too rude a person, as far as you’re swearing is directed at people outside of Goonersphere. Well good luck to all agendas here, but today’s exploration of the word C*nt is not in reference to a referee or a rival team manager or even Suarez. This is about our own, some who were and some who still are, gunners at heart.

I’ve always felt strongly against the trivial use of these words for players we loved at some point, and so I decided to put down my thoughts here.  Perhaps at this point I should introduce a few names and discuss examples of their infamy. Samir Nasri, Robin Van Persie, Cesc Fabregas, Hleb to name a few.

But before we discuss their cases let’s step back a bit and understand the life of today’s footballer and the currency of loyalty. Undoubtedly today’s football is faster and more commercial. The former manifests in higher entropy or a shorter life/peak for the footballer and the latter breaks his heart by telling him, that less than his personal best is not wanted anywhere, instantly. It’s a mercilessly competitive world out there. A few games out of form and suddenly your stock has dipped. The clubs with interest have withdrawn into some abyss and journalists are already using words like ‘offloading’ ‘wage burden’ etc. And even erstwhile caring managers like Arsene now have no qualms about benching players of Vermaelen & Podolski’s caliber forget Arshavin & Chamakhs.

The time under the spot light is limited. Younger, faster players are queuing up behind you to dethrone you as the hot new striker, playmaker, dribbler, defender.  I completely understand if the players want to encash their golden years. They have every right to. In their heads, is the inevitable countdown, then their own future & their family’s. Of course one can pretend to be loyal to QPR but what guarantee do players like Derry have, that presented with opportunity or a new manager’s approach they would not overhaul the squad and throw out all current players?

The argument of loyalty being a direct result of your origin and neighborhood does work to an extent. The longer the association, the stronger the bond and affinity.  Well Arsene is almost English now, isn’t he? (shhh let’s not bring up the Guard of honor here). Then there are the homegrown thoroughbreds like Jack Wilshere, Carragher, Gerrard and *cough Cesc. And in such cases you expect local heroes to stick to the club & its cause over money & fame.  But it’s a material world and Jamie Carragher cannot guarantee that the ambitious Liverpool will employ talent only from its own back yard. Or not sell their best players if the offers arrive for Mascherano, Alonso, Torres… ouch! Jack can’t use that argument either. So please don’t tell me that someone who has just arrived after having lived all his life in France, Germany, Spain and can’t even speak English properly has sworn loyalty to The Arsenal by some lame quote to some lame publication. If you are going to believe it, I cannot congratulate you because gullibility does not merit a certificate of appreciation.

One must accept that players live in a different world than fans. Our world has wins, losses, draws, trophies, chants, abusing rivals, points and then our lives. Their world has wins, losses, contracts, work permit, discipline, injuries, manager’s trust, market value,  captains, bench, squad place pressure, team chemistry, form, personal brand contracts, fan support, interest from media & others… oh and their own personal lives and families.

A case in point with regards to Loyalty is this fight between Ronaldo & Shrek. They played alongside each other every week and trained together every day for 9 months, yet… in the immediate, in the context CR7’s loyalty was with Portugal and not with Rooney (Utd/Eng)

In this reality, one must accept that for a footballer it is essentially a job. And such a sanitised 3 letter word, bereft of emotions & bonds can also be used for the managers world over. I am certain everyone wants to win. Every manager, every player wants to do well. But first for themselves, and then the rest of the world.

To me loyalty today is more like a mutual understanding of respect which can simply be answered by:
1. Do you want me to work for you?
2. Do I want to work for you?

Everything else is collateral and peripheral. What were the circumstances under which the player left, bad blood press etc. are then useless straws we clutch at meaninglessly. It’s like chewing gum which has lost its sweetness long ago. You can keep chewing at it but…

Let’s go over a few cases and kick this hornet’s nest shall we?

rvpRobin Van Persie. We wanted him. He didn’t want us. So he left. End of story.

Unfortunately not… for most of us. We hate him, and how! But let’s be clear why we hate him. That he did not want to play for us anymore after having one good season? No I don’t think so. The club took the risk when they paid the medical bills and only extended contracts to certain periods. It was a calculated risk for Arsenal. We also cannot complain about him leaving because he believes we won’t win any silverware anytime soon. Whatever is his current impression of Arsenal, he as a free person is allowed that, and specially after talking to AFC where we perhaps shared our grand plans and he failed to see promise in them. We were not attractive to him as a proposition. That’s it. That’s a truth. And once that’s established, there is no point of that player staying anymore with us anyway. Crying over it is like blaming your gf/bf who dumped you and be dramatic about it with hunger-strikes and suicide threats, instead of asking why did he/she believe it was not going to work?

We hate him because he went to United, our direct rivals for such a long time. When possibly he had other options to go out of England. I agree, and for this bit of greed and insensitivity to Arsenal fans he deserves the treatment he gets.

Samir Nasri. We wanted him. He didn’t want us. End of Story.

And ideally that’s how it should have been. He was here for 2 years. He served us to the best of his ability I thought, and played till his last game with all his heart into it. (That smashing goal against Utd and that unbelievable solo goal against Porto… sigh!) As an individual he did not find our grand plans convincing either, specially with Cesc departing and no replacements being promised. You could say he left for the money. I don’t see any wrong in that. You could say he left for Silverware, I don’t see any wrong in that either. He served the time of his contract to the best of his ability and that’s that. He always respected AW and the fans, and has always held that status officially. Unofficially though… its up to you if you want to believe a certain Tom, ____ , Harry who heckled him on the streets or when he was driving his car.

He saw promise in us and he came to us. He left when he changed his mind. Perhaps he will change his mind again, when he realises money can’t guarantee success all the time. And if we have a room in the squad I don’t see why we can’t accommodate him. Because again one needs to get this out of their heads that we want Nasri for 10 more years, and even when he is shit. We might just want him for 1 or 2 years and I see no wrong in that.

Cesc Fabregas. We wanted him. He didn’t want us. Ran to mama.

We knew this one was coming. He wanted to play alongside teammates from his home town, and experience football of the highest caliber (*in 2011). We can call him names, but if his heart is not here, then what’s the point in looking at a long face, that too of the captain.

May be his heart would change again someday, may be just for a short period. Who knows. Till then, one could choose to call him names but I would like to remember all the glorious moments he made for us.

The Hypocrisy

Emmanuelle Eboue: He wanted us. We didn’t want him. End of story (for him)

I do not remember a livelier character in our team or even in EPL in the last 2 decades. A great character to have in any team. Always gave his 100% and never hid. What he lacked in skill he tried to compensate by being a nuisance to the opposition. Over time we saw him spending more and more time on the bench. And then eventually he got up and left for a playing opportunity, for he is still young.

But for gooners Eboue is not a C**t and never will be. Just because… we didn’t want him. We didn’t need him that bad. His departure did not hurt the squad. There are many other examples like Eboue, who are not finding enough game time with us and will eventually leave for a playing opportunity elsewhere. But we won’t be calling them C**ts, because we are selfish bastards who want to win and we want this club to do well. Because we don’t need them. Bravo!

If you condemn greed, I could site more examples of hypocrisy viz. Thierry Henry who also left us for greener pastures. Being our captain at that time mind you, and switching sides to the side which broke our hearts in 2006. And then there is Theo Walcott who (or his manager) was greedy enough to hold our Jan transfer window to ransom and compromised our squad enhancement.

The Problem

If we are not attractive enough to retain top talent, perhaps we need some soul searching at the Board level. Season after season if our best players have been leaving, it’s clear what our market report looks like to most. The concern for that however, is buried deep beneath the greed for cash and profits. Some of the monsters we created I suspect were convenient ways to mask our greed. e.g. we could have refused to sell, taking a 20mn prospective loss? Also who knows the real story behind the Song’s swift departure. Over a scuffle with the manager you say? Overnight you say? For 15mn you say? To Barcelona you say? Fishy I say.

Your sail, you choose.

Everyone has their own unique way of venting and I am not going to preach you about what’s the most scientific way to let your steam out. We’ve almost sailed through a big sea of frustration. Some have done it calmly so far, others by swearing at the manager & board, some at the former gunners. It’s not been an easy ride of course for any one. So you make your own survivor kit by all means. Just make sure the reasons are your own and not concession to general agreements. You don’t have to join a camp if you don’t want to.

Also we must continue to have the view that all players are just the employees of The Arsenal. No one lives forever, and no one is indispensible. This… we have learnt. Haven’t we?

One of the most peaceful scenarios for fans is to be true to our situation and be realistic about our expectations from results, players, other clubs’ fans and the media world over. We are here by our own doing and we will get out of it by our own doing too. And that day may not be too far now. I believe we did well, sailing and surviving through torrid times and soon it will all be in our hands.

Victoria Concordia Crescit.
PS: 1. I apologise to those who are disappointed that this article with its controversial heading did not display inappropriate graphics and anatomical diagrams.
2. And if you’ve reached this far, bravo! thank you for reading.

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Understanding The Arsenal through the Indian caste system


How many gunners & gooners are there in the world? More than 100 million its estimated. That’s a population bigger than Brazil’s. BRAZIL!!!

Ok if you’re nodding then you need to go back to school because that’s not true. But still, it will be a large country. Larger than most European countries including England. Diverse in every single which way but for the passion for The Arsenal. Beginning to understand it all could sound like calculus. The easiest way out is to turn to the wise and old. Namaste again!

I guess for our own good we started multiplying way quicker than some people could do math, and therefore logically some wise men got together and decided instead of us all farming, hunting, protecting, photographing and blogging, lets divide the roles a bit shall we?

The Indian society is traditionally divided in 4 sects. Or 4 castes. Each has its distinct role and purpose. In the picture below going clockwise its the Brahmins, Kshatriyas, Shudras & Vaishyas.



1. The Brahmins (Priests): Their task is to teach and to preach. They educate and train the masses and also act as a conduit between god and the people. They preach religion. Encourage tolerance and are highly respected. Even the kings would not dare offend a Brahmin. Lest they be prepared for a curse of drought, poverty or sterility.


If Arsene’s face had started appearing in your head then its true. Him, Pat, Bould and the rest of our coaching staff are the Brahmins for us. Hugely trusted and respected. They train the players. Teach them the Arsenal way to do things (our religion) and encourage tolerance and belief through press conferences. Highly respected, yet a little restrained for they don’t hold all the powers and don’t make all the decisions for the society. Brahmins are also simpletons who would lead their lives in 2 pairs of cotton sheets and food earned as gifts. Much like Arsene, Brahmins must know how to make best of what they have and propagate to the masses the benefits of being self sufficient.

2. The Vaishyas (traders) : Those who buy and sell goods to the common folk or outside the kingdom. They control prices and the demand/supply. Hello Mr. Gazidis. And the other wheeler dealers with suits and boots. They want to sell everything. Sell shirts, mugs, scarves , TV rights, players, and even a fucking 90 second recorded video featuring Johan Djourou. These guys only see profit.  Sell! Sell! Sell! is their Mantra.
What do you mean, let’s buy new players? … go talk to a Brahmin.. you greedy sinner!


We would easily add silent Stan & other board members to this, because of the way we are set-up. We don’t have a single King so to speak, and these money-loving bastards decide what’s best for us  profits.

Their overriding greed ensures no one loves them. Not even the hair on their heads. They have no room for emotions, religion, faith or hope. Their eye is on the money and their tails follow.

3. The Kshatriyas (warriors) : All about actions, sweat, testosterone and war cries. Their job is to defend the pride of the people. They defend, they attack and are heroes for most. Kids want to grow up to be them hearing songs of their valor & fortitude. Ohhhh Santi Cazorlaaaa!


Football I believe is more a ritual akin to war, and less of a sport. Consider the armies, the chants, the flags and drums. And appropriately so, the Kshatriyas are the most vital part of the mix.

Heroes come and go. Every age, every era has a new hero. Who becomes the epicentre of the battle and rises high and mighty to take his side to new heights. We keep forgetting that its not one person or few people who hold answers to everything. Its not standing waters, but a flowing river. Things change quickly and constantly. But we need to remember that.

4. The Shudras (Commoners) : The rest of the population. Unskilled workers, farmers, laborers & slaves. Those who do menial jobs. So menial that they are sometimes considered untouchables for the other castes. Their job is to serve the other 3 castes. Pay taxes, earn money and keep serving all their lives. They have no influence what goes on in the kingdom.

This is us.

Paying for jerseys, tickets, scarves, mugs, fish&chips & Arsenal TV.  Can we stop doing it. No! Never. And will we have any influence on what goes on. No! Never.

At this point 2 questions come to mind.
1. What hope do we live in?
2. Why are we here?

I will attempt to answer the first here and the other through a separate post later. Would also love anyone’s view on one or both.

To answer the first we the people (fans) live in the hope of prosperity, tranquillity and joy. For us small joys in life are more important (like Arsenal playing good football) or being more worthy than our neighbors and other kingdoms. Even though we don’t have any direct ownership or stake in this society, we would like to take pride in being the greatest kingdom there is on land.

But we know we can’t affect change. Alone and in our shoes we have no control on where we are headed. No control over the taxes, soldiers or priests its a bit like being in a roller coaster which someone else is manning.

Those is search of finding answers quickly and easily, often turn to god (our crest), and thus heavily rely on the priests who are their channels to god. We hope that the priests can prepare the warriors well and help them with sound strategy and timing. At the same time propagate good values (1-2s & possession) to the masses.

We live our lives watching the Kshatriyas fight many battles, while continuing to pay the Vaishyas their taxes, in hope that the Priests will guide this ship to calmer, clearer, better waters.

And through this journey its our dharma to offer support. And help maintain balance with our weight in this boat. Continuously, endlessly, and without expectation.


Your right is to work alone,
Never to its fruits.
Let not be the fruit of action be thy motive,
nor let thy attachment be to inaction.

After all, we chose this journey, and we will live it to the fullest. India also believes in reincarnation and I am certain most of us would love to be reborn with the same purpose. Up the Arsenal!

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The Alpha male & The Arsenal’s future.

One Arsene Wenger

One Arsene Wenger

“Has Wenger left yet?” . Sticker Protests. Twitter AKB/WOB debates, and the marches. Press room drama and Sun Block. We’ve heard it all.

We all love him. And quite a few love to hate him. Most of that being recent. And not all for the same reasons. Transfer activity, tactics (lack of), deadwood support, BS in press (squad is complete) and death of good looking football to name a few. 

Imagine Roman looking at this list and asking “So what is the question then?”.

But hey, this is not a WOB post. And also I am well aware of the counter arguments; AFC Board+Stadium+Youth+FFP+Unlucky with injuries+ Top 4 consistency. Yes all right you have a point too, may be. And this is how most debates begin and end. “I see your 8 trophyless years, and raise you consistent CL qualification”. And vice versa. Most issues have some sensible reasoning that one can perhaps fathom. For instance the stadium comes at a cost. Yes we get it.

Most debates can be settled. But there is this last nagging splint in the discussion which we have no answers for. Call it lack of killer instinct or being boys, or softies or any other term you like. But we can’t keep pressure for 90 minutes and we fail to kill the games almost every time, in the past few seasons. Making more gooners meeting each other in the cardiologist’s waiting queue. This post is about exploring that aspect alone.

You have to admit & appreciate the contrast between us & Utd today. At 0-2 our TLs are filled with abuse, pessimism & i-told-you-sos. Check a Utd TL at 0-2 who are talking about subs and making it 3-2 at least. And Utd manage it. Almost every single time.

It’s 11 grown up men playing for one of the biggest clubs in the world. Yet they play like boys. Lack urgency till we’re 0-1 (or 0-2 these days) and usually start responding to crowd pressure after 68th minute. What’s the problem you gotta ask. Is it some massive invincibles hangover that we are mightier than RM+Barca+Bayern+Milan’s history and we fear our own strength so much so that we could destroy any opposition by just staring at them, so why bother with sweating it out? Why do shoulders sag so easily. Why does the its-all-over thought even cross their minds, with 10 minutes still to play? Are they in their heads already imagining AW’s post game excuse. ‘Jaded’.. or “1 point wasn’t too bad in these conditions” etc. Really? A season ticket holder is paying through his nose for your 60k/week so we can get 90 mins of pure action out of you. Why is it possible at a Blackpool / Swansea & Utd and not here.

Consider this. How often have you seen Ox/Gibbs/Ramsey looking towards the bench after a meek shot at goal, or a poor pass. (Add Cazorla to it lately)

Alpha Logic:
In Arsene Wenger we have one of the most sophisticated managers on the planet. An intelligent, clever and sharp man. Whose every word is measured. Each thought weighed. Always dressed sharply and always appears sincere. In his post game thoughts, or in his support of his players. He is a good man too with a socialist view to football’s economic principles. If this man ever gave you 2 minutes of his time, you’d want to get yourself a new suit and shoes and hope you don’t say anything to make a fool of yourself. Because he’d can call you an idiot in more languages than you can count.

Add to that his illustrious first decade here and the respect from players from all over the world and managers like SAF himself. His consistent record, accolades & constant support from fans+Board, and his repute to be the respectable revolutionary with unquestionable intentions have made him an Alpha male . Yes. The Alpha Male at The Arsenal. The first of/at anything Arsenal. He is untouchable today says Woj in an interview recently. The fans dare not say anything against or they’d get stick from other fans or ex-players. Even AFC board’s+Stan’s view on the matter is obviously quite obvious.

As a general rule of survival you don’t fuck around with the Alpha Male. Be it your coach, VP, Mafia Boss, a politician or a pissed off cop. You don’t invite trouble when its not needed. You wait for orders. You listen and follow. Now picture Cazorla’s face again after missing that volley. His expressions say “Sowwy Daddy” as he winces and looks towards the bench. Some of these thoughts might be agreeing with you and some of you could be thinking SAF. He is an Alpha Male too, and perhaps an even scarier one.

Well yes and no. Yes SAF wields a fearsome hair-dryer. He’d let anyone have it, for lack of his performance or speaking roobish out loud. Something Rooney learnt the hard way. He’ll call a spade a spade. He’ll immediately bench the culprits for the next 3 games or months, and after the next failure that player could consider himself on the despatch list. Much like an american dad who’d tell his teenage kid stand up for himself  get a job, pay for his own education and be counted as a man.

By contrast Arsene is more of an Asian dad. He is protective and caring. Way too much, too many times. He’d never lay blame or point fingers. He’d give chance after chance. And even when the player wants to leave, he’d facilitate the best exit terms possible. He’d take the bullet for you and suffer silently without telling you. And its that silence that creates further distance to someone who is already an Alpha Male. It is further transfer of power to the ‘giver’. With each missed opportunity / drop points you slip further in the debt of emotions. Silent treatment is perhaps more torturous and painful, for you don’t know what it cold mean, much like a horror film. SAF burns that bridge by telling you what exactly is in store for you. He spells out the what-ifs, making others less fearful and more equal.

Disappointing Wenger is a frightful prospect. A man who is pure and has given his all to you… how could you? Deep inside every man is a good person and that person can recognise the good in Arsene and would try his best not to meet his gaze after a failure. Be it a good boy like Aaron or a complete shin kicking bastard like Persie.

Conceding to the Alpha male has its effect on the bravado and the general testosterone levels. Much akin to the 2 woof pups. 2 woofs at the stranger. Look at daddy dog. 2 more hoofs. Look back. Find a sock. Sniff some tail. Look back etc. Beta males are waggingly happy that way.

On the field we are no different. Clueless pups. Who actually are supposed to be good pedigree and well trained. But somehow they just keep looking back at each other and the daddy dog.

How long?
That’s a good question, which does not have a clear answers. You can definitely not question the man’s intent. He means well and his trying his best to beat the evil. Besides its lauded by FFP believers and of course makes fantastic business sense. At least in the short term. The Board and Stan could pressurise Arsene into making big signings and approve doubling wages, but there is no real guarantee that we’ll lift CL trophy because of it, as Arsene pointed out recently. It then is an obvious choice, to stick to the low risk strategy. And suits emotionless scavengers like Kroenke perfectly. “Check-mate motherfuckers” – regards, Uncle Stan.

Alpha male also has a strong scent and you can’t get over it overnight. In fact its so overwhelming that some question if Arsenal is all because of Arsene or the other way around. Automatically leading to the conclusion that after Arsene there could be no Arsenal. Its end of the world as we know it. As we know it. We don’t know enough quite clearly.

The future.
To my mind there are 2 clear possibilities out of this situation which I with utmost displeasure refer to as status-quo. Both the possibilities however are time taking.

The first scenario is  the natural ageing of the Alpha Male. With time the aggression subsides. And with age others feel its less disrespectful to question the leadership. Which in real world date terms is 2014.

The second scenario is the rise of the second alpha male. Who? Do you really need a clue? The prince of London. Arsenal DNA factory. Archie’s father. A man of steel (already) and the future of England. Jack Wilshere. (too much maybe? ok sorry, but stop sobbing now)

The future.

The future.

He’s come back a better player no doubt and a stronger man. He is a fighter who hates losing. You will find him abusing senior players for not running. You get a feeling that he in his mind has decided that he is the captain and has to take responsibility for every situation. Already. Never gives up. Player of the season by a comfortable margin. The fans adore him. The manager wants to protect him and the press shower their love too. And the best part is, he is here to stay. His ascent to an Alpha male here is sharp and deserved.

He gives his 100% in every game and tries his best to win every time. Which makes him kind of a ticking bomb. I mean how many times will he spray a pass to Gervinho or Ox who will bollix it. How long before he is tired of sending chips to OG who only has his back towards the goal. Bit harsh on OG yes, but Jack must be feeling he deserves better. Arsenal deserve better. And of course us fans in return. How long before jacks stands up to Arsene or the board and says this is all bollocks policy. We need to do better. In transfers. In keeping players. In chemistry. In training.

How long before the 5 foot something prince stands up to the 6 foot something king and we make a poster out of it? Whose side will you be on then? JKB or AKB? WOB or JOB? or any of their endless combinations. Because unlike RVP, Jack is homegrown. He doesn’t want to go anywhere. He wants to make it big here. So when he stands up will the marches not multiply ten fold. Will the fans not line-up behind him? After all, he is the future and we all want what he wants.

What do you think?

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