1. Cute as they come, still the GF won’t get beaten by a Canary.
2. GFs don’t have an interlull. 4 days max!
3. While you look at the ceiling getting screamed at, you know for sure that your GF is unaffected by any injuries to her toe, ankle or hair.
4. The GF buys when she needs stuff, and even when she doesn’t need. All impulse and no shopping deadline day. “She buys when she wants! She buys when she wants!”
5. Wearing your GF’s scarf, you can walk into a Utd pub any day. (Just to take a leak of course)
6. You can extend or reduce play time from 90 minutes. And add extra time to how much ever you like.
7. The GF takes performance very seriously.
8. The GF would never charge you £13.50 for Fish-n-chips. Might advice you to go vegan instead.
9. For £1995 you can buy a decent size stone , (hopefully once and for all)
10. The chances of having a rotten weekend are really very low with your GF. And super unlikely to have 2 of those weekends in a row. If yes skip to point 15.
11. When you buy stuff for the GF, a thanks is the least you can expect 😉
12. No one else has a Tattoo or a Mug with your GF’s name on it. And neither is anyone discussing her past in detail, or the direction of her ambition. (See how I smartly I avoided adding ticket-price here and did not indulge in cheap thrills). And definitely no one else is writing songs in her name.
13. The GF could (perhaps, remotely, kinda, theoretically) rescue you from your weekend AFC blues. But the reverse is impossible.
14. The GF is very likely to have more shots on target in every contest. Besides being on target they might have the damaging effect they intended.
15. You can dump your GF anytime (or get dumped), and in time you can get over her, but with Arsenal you are stuck for life.
PS: If you believe in the cause and agree feel free to send me your reasons. Let’s add to this. Please swap gender if you’re a girl. But that’s not mandatory.